Thursday, January 12, 2012

I'll Rise, But I Won't Shine!

This week has not been the easiest week for us in the morning. James is in school Tuesday-Thursday from 8-12.  On Tuesday I woke him up and was immediately met with screaming, crying and a a full on flopping tantrum.  It all amounted to he did NOT want to go to school.  He had a complete meltdown, I lost my cool, both of us yelled, and it was a rotten day for all involved. We got to school battered and ten minutes late.  I chalked it up to the beginning of the school week, and just knew that Wednesday would be easier.  

I overslept Wednesday (which I haven't done in AGES!!). I knew I couldn't rush Mr. Fun, so I resigned myself to being late and tried to sweetly coax him out of bed.  Well that didn't work and again he was a mess.  Dustin came home from work in time to help me get his clothes on him and get him to in the car.  Breakfast was a PB&J in the car and we were late for school again.  Crazy thoughts are flying through my head at this point.  Am I a bad Mom?  Is he feeling the stress of our family sharing a car this month?  Is he not sleeping well?  Is he getting sick?  Is he not having a good experience with school?  What is going on with my kid???

Today, Thursday, was the final day in his school week.  He managed to sneak into my bed sometime around 5 am and was snuggled close when the alarm went off at 6:30.  I cringed for a moment until he grinned at me and popped out of bed and took off running for his room.  I proceeded to stumble to the coffee pot, and was met by my smiling boy who was fully dressed.  He says Aren't you proud of me?  I sure was.  No screaming, no arguing, just a peaceful morning.  The ride to school was pleasant, even if we did have to take a few moments to pray for some generic bad guys and discuss the difference between speeders and real bad guys.  Why can't all mornings go this smoothly?  

I mean, truly I hate raising my voice or my hand to my children.  A three year old in the throes of a fit isn't a logical creature.  A me without at least six cups of coffee isn't a logical creature either.  Our experiences this  week have me thinking a lot about patience.  I've repeatedly prayed to be a more patient person.  Rather than becoming more patient instantly, I've found that God keeps putting me in positions to find patience.  I keep coming up short.  Is it wrong to stop praying for patience?  Perhaps a wiser mind than mine can tell me, but at least for this week, I'm changing my prayer!

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